That’s me, Tighe (Ty), in May of 2003. 548 lbs. Cholesterol 507. Blood pressure 170/105. Blood Glucose level 400+. Triglycerides 3,000+. And, not known to me yet, Type II Diabetes. Why am I still alive? That’s a good question. I got lucky. Here’s the first part of my story:I didn’t even know there was anything wrong with me. Well, that is except of course for my weight, but even my morbid weight was still not a comprehensible thing for me. Don’t get me wrong, I knew I was overweight and needed to get to the gym and stop putting Twinkies and burgers into my mouth. Even then I did not, at all, understand what was happening to me or the very real probability that I would soon die if things didn’t change. Wondering how I got lucky? That’s easy. My Godfather, Joe, was visiting my parents and I happened to be over also. As he was leaving, he pulled me aside and with the most frightened look on his face that I had ever seen he simply said, “I’m very worried about you.” I told him that I understood and began to say goodbye to him. He firmly grabbed my arm above my elbow and looked right into me and said, “I worry that you are going to die.” It stopped me for a second, but I told him that I had already starting going to the gym and was watching what I ate. This, obviously, was a lie. He knew it, but I didn’t care because I had believed the lie for years and years before I told it.
Sometime later I was out with a bunch of friends at a bar down in the Gaslamp in 
not see it for a few weeks. When I did, I felt I was looking at some distorted reality. THAT’S NOT ME!!! NO!! NO, IT’S NOT!!! And I put the photo away. Uh huh, that’s right. I ignored it...I ignored me. A pretty amazing thing to ignore oneself, but I managed to do it. The next time I actually didn’t ignore myself I was taking a shower. I was washing my hair and I had to stop because I was winded. My shoulders and biceps were burning! That was it. I thought about what Joe had said and everything else. Avoiding stairs because I knew what would happen. Wearing what amounted to tents for shirts and jeans. Back problems. Snoring and sleep apnea (when you stop breathing while sleeping). No girlfriend. Not going out. Looking in the mirror and not seeing me.
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3 comments:
Yay! I was included in one of your pictures. LOL just kidding... I had NO idea that you were really that big, Tighe. I know you've said the actual weight before, but I just couldn't believe it. You're still the Tighe who used to, uh, "assist" me with tests during class in high school. Haha. I'm glad you're taking better care of your health. Maybe I should start a blog about how much weight I've lost too. We can start exercising together!
Glad you included more pics. It really gives the reader a good sense of who you were, not just the size, but your social life. I suggest that you have more stories related to specific events involving your weight, either about times that made you feel you should lose weight (besides the one you listed of course) or about times you started to lose weight and how you felt a change, or how other people noticed a change in you. Great blog altogether! I will be ready to read some more...!
WOW - This must have been very difficult to write. I know it was very hard to share your inner thoughts and feelings. I am over weight and have some similar problems, but I am 30 years older and living a different life style. I am really proud of you for writing this and admitting your faults, telling your stories, and taking charge of your life!
I was impressed with your pictures and that you did not become reclusive and hide from society (who can be very cruel to large people).
I am proud of you for deciding to take charge of your life and change. You are a very smart, caring, and special person and I would like you to be around for a long time!
I am anxious to read the continuation of your story. I hope it is a happy story of your struggle and success!
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